Can money forge friendships? (19:6)
Many seek the favor of a generous man and every man is a friend to him who gives gifts.
Gifts get attention. Gifts make friends. People love the generous.
We all love presents, and when the gifts are genuine—with no strings attached—we truly appreciate the giver. So Jesus instructs us to use this technique to make friends.
How can we change from loving stuff and using people, to using stuff and loving people?
Generosity is admired everywhere. And the more you give, the more you’re asked to give, so this text makes a progression from “many” to “everyone” (ESV). As we’ve learned, when the news of our generosity gets out, the more we’re sought out. In fact, the Albert Barnes Commentary says the phrase “seek the favour” literally means “stroke the face of.” Whose face? The man of a princely nature, who gives magnificently. Everyone wants to be on the good side of a generous giver. And why not?
Giving versus Trading
It’s easy to confuse generosity with trading. Exchanging gifts is not really giving—it’s trading. Generosity is kindness, sacrifice, and giving to others without expecting anything in return. But there are gray areas. People love free samples; they know it’s advertising, but it works, driving awareness and demand. The free sample is a “gift” of sorts, leading to sales and even consumer loyalty. But is it a gift?
We don’t need to be wealthy to be generous. What makes us generous? A poor man who gives five dollars to charity is more generous than a rich man who gives fifty, but that’s not how charities see it. Too often we focus on the size of the gift, instead of the sacrifice. Jesus did the opposite. He praised a widow who gave her last half-cents, and panned those who gave much, but held back much more (Luke 21:2). True generosity is measured by “Why?” rather than “How much?” Often the poor or middle class are more willing to share than the rich. The ability to give does not make people willing to give. What makes people generous? Sometimes past hardships make us more sensitive to the needs of others.
Translation: Generous
The word “generous” deserves careful attention. The Hebrew word here is נדיב (nā•ḏîḇ, pronounced “nah-deev”), and it’s used twenty-seven times in the Bible. Curiously, it’s also translated as “noble” in character or rank. It appears first in Exodus 35:5 to describe those Israelites who eagerly contributed their wealth to build the temple of God. The Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament (TWOT), says the origin of nā•ḏîḇ is the verb nā•ḏăḇ, indicating a voluntary, freewill offering, “an uncompelled and free movement of the will unto divine sacrifice,” as they say. Yet it is sometimes translated as “princes” or “nobles.” Princes and nobles can afford to give more than paupers or peasants, and they may wish to give a righteous example.
Wealth provides the opportunity to obtain friends, even if shallow friends. A gift is often used as an icebreaker in a new relationship, to plant a new friendship. With proper nurturing, this friendship can grow deeper roots, but it’s seeded by an expression of generosity, even a modest generosity.
Classic Comments
Classic preacher-commentator Matthew Henry observed marvellously: “How those that are rich and great are courted and caressed, and have suitors and servants in abundance…. Even great men are humble supplicants to the prince. How earnest then should we be for the favour of God, which is far beyond that of any earthly prince.”
Scrooge
In Charles Dickens’ holiday novel, A Christmas Carol, we witness a stingy miser become a magnanimous philanthropist overnight. Ebenezer Scrooge is confronted with the ugliness of his past selfishness, his present opportunities for generosity, and the prospect of a hellish eternity, because of his selfish character. Realizing his possible, horrible destiny empowers him to change his ways and live generously with everyone around him. It takes a supernatural shock to awaken Ebenezer Scrooge, but he then changes from a despised parasite in the community to a beloved friend of all. He exchanges his vortex riches for expansive friendship.
Prayer
Clearly, God is the wealthiest of all; He is wealth itself. So we wisely seek God’s favour and ask Him in prayer for the gifts we desire. Sadly, many of us don’t—for a variety of reasons. One is that God is invisible, and it’s easier to focus on the wealthy we can see; for the goodies we can see. Yet, friendships are more valuable, especially in the long-term, than wealth in the short-term. Giving is in the nature of God, who has infinite resources, an intense desire to share, and a willingness to give us whatever we give to others.
Gifts get attention. Gifts make friends. People love the generous.
We all love presents, and when the gifts are genuine—with no strings attached—we truly appreciate the giver. So Jesus instructs us to use this technique to make friends.
How can we change from loving stuff and using people, to using stuff and loving people?
Generosity is admired everywhere. And the more you give, the more you’re asked to give, so this text makes a progression from “many” to “everyone” (ESV). As we’ve learned, when the news of our generosity gets out, the more we’re sought out. In fact, the Albert Barnes Commentary says the phrase “seek the favour” literally means “stroke the face of.” Whose face? The man of a princely nature, who gives magnificently. Everyone wants to be on the good side of a generous giver. And why not?
Giving versus Trading
It’s easy to confuse generosity with trading. Exchanging gifts is not really giving—it’s trading. Generosity is kindness, sacrifice, and giving to others without expecting anything in return. But there are gray areas. People love free samples; they know it’s advertising, but it works, driving awareness and demand. The free sample is a “gift” of sorts, leading to sales and even consumer loyalty. But is it a gift?
We don’t need to be wealthy to be generous. What makes us generous? A poor man who gives five dollars to charity is more generous than a rich man who gives fifty, but that’s not how charities see it. Too often we focus on the size of the gift, instead of the sacrifice. Jesus did the opposite. He praised a widow who gave her last half-cents, and panned those who gave much, but held back much more (Luke 21:2). True generosity is measured by “Why?” rather than “How much?” Often the poor or middle class are more willing to share than the rich. The ability to give does not make people willing to give. What makes people generous? Sometimes past hardships make us more sensitive to the needs of others.
Translation: Generous
The word “generous” deserves careful attention. The Hebrew word here is נדיב (nā•ḏîḇ, pronounced “nah-deev”), and it’s used twenty-seven times in the Bible. Curiously, it’s also translated as “noble” in character or rank. It appears first in Exodus 35:5 to describe those Israelites who eagerly contributed their wealth to build the temple of God. The Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament (TWOT), says the origin of nā•ḏîḇ is the verb nā•ḏăḇ, indicating a voluntary, freewill offering, “an uncompelled and free movement of the will unto divine sacrifice,” as they say. Yet it is sometimes translated as “princes” or “nobles.” Princes and nobles can afford to give more than paupers or peasants, and they may wish to give a righteous example.
Wealth provides the opportunity to obtain friends, even if shallow friends. A gift is often used as an icebreaker in a new relationship, to plant a new friendship. With proper nurturing, this friendship can grow deeper roots, but it’s seeded by an expression of generosity, even a modest generosity.
Classic Comments
Classic preacher-commentator Matthew Henry observed marvellously: “How those that are rich and great are courted and caressed, and have suitors and servants in abundance…. Even great men are humble supplicants to the prince. How earnest then should we be for the favour of God, which is far beyond that of any earthly prince.”
Scrooge
In Charles Dickens’ holiday novel, A Christmas Carol, we witness a stingy miser become a magnanimous philanthropist overnight. Ebenezer Scrooge is confronted with the ugliness of his past selfishness, his present opportunities for generosity, and the prospect of a hellish eternity, because of his selfish character. Realizing his possible, horrible destiny empowers him to change his ways and live generously with everyone around him. It takes a supernatural shock to awaken Ebenezer Scrooge, but he then changes from a despised parasite in the community to a beloved friend of all. He exchanges his vortex riches for expansive friendship.
Prayer
Clearly, God is the wealthiest of all; He is wealth itself. So we wisely seek God’s favour and ask Him in prayer for the gifts we desire. Sadly, many of us don’t—for a variety of reasons. One is that God is invisible, and it’s easier to focus on the wealthy we can see; for the goodies we can see. Yet, friendships are more valuable, especially in the long-term, than wealth in the short-term. Giving is in the nature of God, who has infinite resources, an intense desire to share, and a willingness to give us whatever we give to others.